A True Friend
I have a dear friend who has been by my side since I was three years old. We were toddlers playing with dollhouses; we spent our childhood watching each other’s gymnastics meets, doing each other’s hair, and going on vacation with our families each summer. We stayed in touch through college; taking weekend trips to see each other. We spent every Christmas Eve together exchanging gifts and baking a birthday cake for Jesus. We shared a bed two nights before her wedding and cried tears of joy as she married her best friend. We held each other through losses of loved ones. We have been by each others side through it all, so when I was going through a difficult challenge in my life I just wanted my best friend there with me, to hug me and hold me and to feel the comfort of her presence.
Unfortunately at the time she lived in California and I was in Pennsylvania. She called me early on and we talked through some of the grief and pain I was experiencing. I sat at my desk watching a storm come in, listening to the thunder, tears streaming down my face. My throat hurt so bad, you know the kind when you are trying to be strong and hold back from crying. I pulled tissues out of the box to wipe the tears as I listened to my dear friend talk to me. I didn’t have a lot of words, I was pretty depressed and just needed someone to share some wisdom. Not many people know the right things to say in moments of grief. But this friend of mine always seems to have the right words of wisdom to share. Before she started speaking she was crying. It was silent expect for us both crying on either end of the phone. Then she said, “I haven’t stopped praying for you, for comfort and peace and strength. My heart just breaks with you and I’m hurting with you. I want you to know the I am here to do whatever I can do help carry the burden with you. I’m prepared to go on this journey with you. You have my permission to talk about this with me whenever you need to. I’m here for you and I’m proud of you.”
Wow. This is a beautiful example of a true friend. Often when we are going through a rough season we feel alone, we feel like our grief and pain is a burden, we feel stuck. I needed to hear that someone was with me, and not just there for me, but there to help carry the burden with me. This is a selfless act of love and care.
A few weeks later I was surprised to see that this friend had flown over 2,700 miles across the country to be with me for just 24 hours before she had to fly back home for work. She flew through the night, spent the day with me, and then drove to the airport at 5 AM the next morning. Again, enormously selfless.
We sat on the couch and I word vomited to her all my grief and the mess that my current life was. She sat with me, listened, cried with me, and shared advice. She then switched the conversation to books we have been reading and other “normal” things. She then suggested we play a card game, the game we always played on vacation when we were 10 years old. She then pulled out her suitcase that was filled with one of her favorite books (that she had written a little note on the inside cover), matching PJs for us (we always wore matching PJs as kids), and all the baking supplies needed to make cookies. We wore our matching PJs, baked cookies, drank tea, and watched a true crime documentary. We shared my bed and talked till 2 in the morning. I felt like I was 15 again and little did I know this was just what I needed. I needed simplicity, a friend to be with, things to take my mind off of the hurt. I told her in whatever words I had at the moment just how much her visit meant to me. Through tears she shared just how much it meant to her too.
A true friend shows up for you in ways you didn’t even know you needed.
A true friend grieves with you.
A true friend cries with you.
A true friend worries with you.
A true friend shares the burden with you.
A true friend is there through the hardest challenges in life, but also the sweetest most beautiful moments.
My friends has taught me so much about what it looks like to love well and be a good friend, and this is just one beautiful example.