When the Lies are Loud
We all have many talents and gifts, over the years I have worked on my skills in baking and decorating cakes, hand lettering, and painting. I have also, subconsciously, worked very hard at another skill, believing lies I tell myself as truth.
It’s not something I’m proud of and I don’t really think I knew I was doing it until one of my therapy sessions…or I was just trying hard to ignore it. Breaking habits are hard, so breaking the habit of no longer believing the lies I told myself has been no easy task. I like to write out a “battle plan” for helping myself work through the tough stuff. I have a battle plan for when the anxiety is high, when the depression is strong, and here is my battle plan for when the lies are loud…
Take Every Thought Captive
This comes from 2 Corinthians 10, which says…
“For although we live in the flesh, we do not wage war according to the flesh, since the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments and every proud thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
This means we have to focus on what we focus on, think about what we think about. As I’ve done more and more research on our brains and the way we think I’m fascinated by how much our thoughts affect our entire body. Spiraling toxic thoughts can turn into panic attacks that can feel to some that they are having a heart attack.
Another important part of taking our thoughts captive is to not let the enemy take control of our minds and make us believe that we are not important, special, or hopeful.
Positive Pep Talks
I’ve often heard the saying, “if you wouldn’t say it to your closet friend, don’t say it to yourself.” This hits hard because every unkind and ugly word I say to myself I could never imagine saying to a friend or even out loud. Just like believing lies I tell myself, I am also very good at the negative pep talks to myself, which then turn into believing lies and it’s a whole spiral that goes on and on. The only way to stop it is to turn those negative pep talks into positive ones.
When I was going through a really tough moment in my life I was told my dozens of people that this was a time to “give myself grace, lots and lots of grace.” So I am practicing giving myself positive pep talks. They are very simple. The following are some examples of kind, positive words you can say to yourself…
You are doing great!
God’s not finished with you yet.
You are needed here.
You are so loved by a God who desires to know you and be close to you
As part of this practice I actually set my alarms so that instead off just saying “alarm” they say encouraging words like “be thankful for another day” and “you are so loved.” This way when the alarms go off at 5:30am the first thing I see to start my day is those encouraging words.
A Little Less Social Media, A Lot More Reality
I love social media, I love the way it creates community and connections, expands my creativity, and how it teaches me so many tiny helpful things like how to make the best cold brew or how to ask for a specific color for my nails when I get a manicure. As much as I love social media I also love social media breaks. I find that taking social media breaks can be helpful for me in times where I am really going through it, either a hard breakup, a season of depression, or maybe just hard days of comparison. Social media can be real and raw but it can also be a highlight reel. And it’s not exactly best for your mental health when you are believing lies to go on social media and see how “perfect” everyone else’s lives seem to be. Sometimes I need to take a little break from social media and embrace reality. Have honest conversations with a friend, serve in your community or church, spend time in nature, read books on truth, and spend time with those you love. Even if you’re not taking a full break from social media focusing on serving and being around people you know care for you instead of scrolling through social media of people from all over the country can help replace the lies you tell yourself with the truth.
A Little Exercise My Therapist Taught Me
I learned so much from the time I was in therapy and this is one of my favorite things my therapist taught me. It’s a very simple exercise of reading the Bible looking for three things…
What is the human experience
What is true about God?
What does God say about me?
Writing down the human experience will help you see that these stories in the Bible are about real, sinful, messy, everyday people just like us. Growing up in the church, going to Sunday School hearing the “stories” be told on felt boards and in claymation videos it was easy to see these people in the Bible more like superheroes or characters than people. But these people experienced depression and anxiety just like us, they made mistakes just like us, and they need God’s forgiveness and grace just as much as we do.
Writing down what is true about God helps us see the truth about who God is. I know when I tell myself lies those lies seep into God and His character, especially His character in relation to me. Reading through the Bible about who God is, is extremely helpful when these lies hit hard. The Bible is truth and reading the truth about His character will help you tell yourself truths about God’s goodness and His never-ending love for you!
Writing down what the Bible says about me ties in with the previous paragraph. We read about how we are loved, we are set apart, we are seen, we are His children, and the list goes on. This will give you the exact words you need to replace those lies with. The Bible says “while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” This doesn’t just tell us that He loves us, it shows us Christ died a gruesome death while we were still sinful, broken people. The Bible also says “He takes great delight in you” and “His love endures forever.”
The lies can be so loud, I know. On the days the lies are the loudest try one of the above and fight for the truth to win!